Tested and found passable

A few days ago a message appeared on my phone. It was my old buddy Eric. He'd been wandering the icy wastelands of the far North in the strange land they call Canada. Yes, that's right - the land of the Labbatts swilling Mountie. Those same Mounties that so famously sang the chorus to Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!

I... I wanted to be...

A lumberjack!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of

British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!

The Larch!

The Pine!

The Giant Redwood tree!

The Sequoia!

The Little Whopping Rule Tree!

We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,

I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,

I go to the lava-try.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'

And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,

He goes to the lava-try.

On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'

And has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing,

And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around.... In bars???????

Chorus

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,

Suspenders and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie

Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels

Suspenders?? And a.... A Bra????

(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a "girlie"? Oh, My!

And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

Chorus

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (Bong)

Sound Cue: The Liberty Bell March, by John Phillip Sousa.

So,with a couple of days notice I was able to hide incriminating evidence and bury the bodies that had been so carefully stored on my bus.  The water came from a 6 gallon jerry can and Eric would be happy with that, I figured, as that's largely how his house in the South of France worked. The toilet was based on one of Eric's toilets that he'd shown on his house-building blog.

With that, Eric rolled up at 4pm on Saturday and was introduced to the bus. I have to say I didn't think my first guest would have been a man. I thought it would be a woman. With that being said, he was there and had light, a bed, water, a shower and a toilet.

The verdict on the bed was that it was very comfortable and just the right height.  No mention was made of the toilet nor handbasin save for that he was used to that kind of thing. He did ask to spend a second night which indicated things weren't that bad nor did he request to be pointed to the nearest Motel 6.

The toilet was clearly acceptable and worked, judging from the fact it was used. I'd opted for a bucket with a plastic liner and cat lit in a bucket beside the toilet. After he'd been using the toilet for number one and two for two days and nights and the temperatures being quite warm, I have to report that the place still smelled fresh. Clearly the cat lit works.

Emptying the toilet was interesting. I'd not expected the bag to be quite so heavy. I'll have to give consideration to emptying more frequently. I'd sited the toilet by the emergency exit with the thought I could unload the toilet via the emergency exit door rather than carrying containers full of nastiness through the kitchen. That worked well though simply tossing the bag out onto the ground probably isn't the best solution. Likewise, burying the bag isn't probably the best solution either.

I'm giving more thought to a 15 gallon barrel solution with some kind of big faucet that I can open in order to pour the content into a 5 gallon barrel that I can carry to a dump site or perhaps attach to a waste pipe and just plumb in temporarily. That could work with a flush toilet and providing I don't pee in the handbasin nor the shower, both of those could be water sources for the toilet.